How is Tim Williams helping young men set themselves up to thrive in the future?
Adolescence can be a very challenging time in life. Transitioning from childhood to adulthood often comes with a great deal of confusion. Young people can benefit greatly from the wisdom and experiences of their elders in learning how to successfully operate in the world as an adult.
My guest in this episode, Tim Williams, is a father and host of The Thrivehood Podcast.
In Episode 48, Tim discusses how his own experiences as a young man inspired him to share Thrivehood with the world. Tim is intent on helping young men to be in a position to thrive in life sooner rather than later. Perhaps more importantly, Tim is intent on leaving the world in a better place than where he found it.
So, what’s your biggest takeaway from my conversation with Tim Williams?
My biggest takeaway is that I would have benefited greatly from having more mentorship during my teenage years. Like Tim, I had to figure out many things on my own and probably way later in life than I could have if I had more adult guidance.
My suggestion to parents is to make a concerted effort to share your wisdom and experiences with your kids.
My suggestion to young people is to be intentional about surrounding yourself with good role models that will point you in the right direction for the rest of your life.
I want to thank Tim for his kind generosity and the wisdom he shared with The Freshman Foundation Community.
You can learn more about The Thrivehood Podcast at https://https://www.thrivehoodpodcast.com/, as well as on Instagram and Instagram @thrivehood_podcast.
To learn HOW mental performance coaching can help your mind work FOR you rather than AGAINST you, visit https://michaelvhuber.com.
Thank you for listening. We’ll see you back soon for Episode 49!
[00:00:01] Mike: Hey Tim, how are you?
[00:00:03] Tim Williams: I'm sleepy.
[00:00:07] Mike: You’re sleepy. Well, hopefully we can wake you up here a little bit.
[00:00:10] Tim Williams: Well, it's my own darn fault. We were talking before we hit the record button here and I was working out in my property and I think I twisted something and so I was feeling rough yesterday and then today I got up and I'm like, well, I'm gonna probably need to hit the sack earlier night. So I don't know, when I was just telling you we just took a quick nap for ran out here to get with you because it's just not feeling all that great, but life is good man. Things are well, how are you doing?
[00:00:42] Mike: I'm doing great. It's great to see you again. Hope all as well with you. It sounds like it other than maybe the typical ups and downs of everyday life. You know, it's interesting, I had the chance to come onto your podcast, “Thrivehood” podcast. And what I've learned about podcasting, and about these conversations is that they give me a lot of energy. Even on like, on a slow day or a day where I'm feeling blocked. Like, as soon as I get into a conversation with somebody, it's sort of really picks me up and it kind of lifts me off for the rest of my day. So I love getting into conversations with people, it really helps me to sort of give me the energy to get through the day.
[00:01:23] Tim Williams: Absolutely, absolutely, that's I'm right there with you. So I said I was a little sleepy, but I was being as being more funny than anything else. By the way, you might just so you know, maybe your listeners, I created a little podcast studio that has of all things a tin roof, and we're getting some rain. So if they hear some pitter patter in the background, that's what that is, in case they wonder.
[00:01:50] Mike: Well, hopefully, these fancy mics that we have in our respective studios will drown out that outside noise. I guess the first question I wanted to ask you is what inspired you to start your podcast, the Thrivehood podcast?
[00:02:05] Tim Williams: Galley, it's a number of things. And I get asked that question a lot. I would say there's a several things. First of all, probably first and foremost, is a some type of, I don't know, if you really want to call it a legacy, but for the lack of a better way to explain myself, probably leaving some type of legacy behind for my children in future generations. I had just leaving a legacy is just very important. It's always been important to me, but I never really knew, I've read about that. And I've read books on it, and I've heard about it, but I'm like, I don't quite know exactly, like, when you put it into practical terms, what am I doing to leave the legacy? Like, let me let me put it in, like, Okay, let me walk this out. And we can talk about setting standards and being a good person, and, you know, investing in the world and all these other things. But I was like, I wish I had something tangible. And I started thinking about my, of course, I speak primarily to young men, but for my son and daughter, I was thinking, you know what, I just would like to have something when I'm gone. Wouldn't it be cool if there was a series of episodes that they could go back to and listen to? And when I'm gone, they still got dad's voice and my somewhat offbeat humor, and just some of the weirdness of who I am in general out there. So that was one reason. The other reason I did it was, for a long time, Mike, and this has been for years and years and years, I would ask my wife, I would say you know, I want to help people I want to give back somehow, but I don't know what that looks like. I can't you know, and she would say, what does it look like? I said, I don't have any idea. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. And she would say you'll get there, you'll figure it out what she you know, obviously, I feel like this is really well it's been supposed to be doing was Thrivehood. But so that's taken me a number of long time to sort of figure out and try to process and so you know, while I just decided to jump out and start this podcast, and then I think thirdly, it's just a way to give back just an opportunity to somehow to help society I think, I don't have to tell you, we especially right now we're in dire straits, on a lot of levels and a lot of areas and a lot of different situations in our world. And, gosh, if there's just something that I can share a nugget or a piece of wisdom that I can give back, why not give that back and I don't I've never worked in social work. I don't have a degree in sociology or I'm not a clinical psychologist or I've never worked with. I've never done anything. It's just a guy that has lived a life and pretty normal guy, but I'm just wanting to try to give back. And that's some mainly why I started dry foot.
[00:05:18] Mike: Yeah. Well, I mean, I relate to that on many levels. Certainly I do what I do. Because I want to help people. I never thought about the podcast as a way to leave something behind for my family but I think that's certainly relevant. I don't know if my kids are old enough to really appreciate it right now. They might be maybe they're not, but one day, they will write to know that their dad was able to have these conversations with people about some things that are really important. And he cared about helping other people. I think that makes a big difference. So when you sort of conceived of the podcast, like what was it about that sort of teenage, young male teenage male audience that that's that stood out to you?
[00:06:09] Tim Williams: I would say twofold. I would say one was, had had a little bit to do with my upbringing myself. You know, this is gonna sound corny. You know, I wish I could come to you and say, I grew up in a massively dysfunctional home and my mom was an alcoholic and my dad was a druggie, and he was hardly home, and he cheated on my wife all the time you know, my mom all the time. And I'm now to be actually honest, it wasn't too bad. I mean, it was I would say, average middle income family, we were raised in Indiana, my dad worked my mom stayed home. But I think what happened as I got older, I look back, I realize there was just a lot of pivotal moments in my life watershed moments that I just would have, it would have been nice to have my mom and definitely my dad to come alongside and say, Hey, son, let me give you some pointers. Let me give you a little bit of advice. Let me you know, right here, I know that you want to manage life on your own, but you need your hand to be held for just a few minutes in this situation. And then we'll sort of let you get on the bike and see how you do. And there were just a number of pivotal moments in my early teenage up to my early 20s. And I remember to I was 19, and I had packed up all of my stuff, which wasn't much but I packed up what I had, because I was heading out to start a job in another state and was going to be driving probably five or six hours away, and had my little car and we'll trailer packed up my stuff. My mom and dad were so great. They gave me some of the furniture they had to serve to get me started and give me set up in an apartment. And I remember so vividly my dad, he shook my hand. He said, well, son, he said, Go out there and get it, you're on your own. And at the time, I didn't realize how much he truly meant that. Because after that it was and I don't know, maybe it was just sort of his generation, but it was sort of a washing their hands of me and saying I've done my part, you just go ahead and figure life out after that you know, and I sort of did and I didn't get any calls. I didn't really get any follow ups. I didn't get a call saying hey, how's it going? You know, and I would call home and once in a while I would talk to dad mostly he'd say, hey son, here's my mom. Here's mom, and I wouldn't even talk to. And so there was just this disconnect. And it took me a while. First of all, you know, it, I was a little offended. I was a little hurt. I was like, what's going on? What have I done wrong? But as I got older, I realized it was in, you know, taking a step back a second. And my mom and dad didn't have the greatest marriage. I mean, it was okay, but there were issues. You know, as I get older, like I got older I realized. There's some stuff going on here that I didn't realize at the time. So I think I'm don't mean to drag this out. But bad experience was, I think one reason for Thrivehood. The second reason was, now I'm raising two children of my own that well, they're on they're about ready to move out on their own. And not only just from my perspective of saying, which you know this, Mike, hey, you can learn just as much under poor leadership as you can under great leadership, right? Because you can simply say, I know what not to do. I know how to not do not treat people not deal with circumstances that sort of thing. So I think that was coming from that perspective with Mike to say, I know what I'm not going to do I know what I'm going to be aware of. And then I'm going to add in, who I am and why I'm about in raising mice, my son and my daughter. And then also their some of the people that they were around and having minor conversations with young men that were hanging out with my son, and even with my daughter, and just getting to know them, and I started seeing just gosh, there's a lot, they don't understand. There's a lot that they're in to no fault of their own. It's just, it's how it is, you know, and I'm going, well, you know, I don't I don't know how, how qualified I am to talk to girls, I mean, that that might be a little creepy. When you think about, you know, the right foot, here's how a girl can and should handle, you know, whatever. But I knew I could at least talk to the young boys, I knew that I could, at least because in the podcast, I do have a number of parents and single moms and those people that listen in, and that have told me, they said, this is really good and I listened to it as well. So I realized after all that, okay, let me know, maybe I don't have a bunch of letters after my name. But I think I've got enough wisdom, just speak directly to these young boys. And at the end of the day, I want them to be able to contribute to society, I want them to be able to be when it's all said and done, like, I'm finished with this. I want them to be better men, better friends, better husbands, better fathers that's ultimately what I'm, better employees, better leaders, whatever role they're in my hope is be better than what you think you can be, but you gotta start right now.
[00:11:52] Mike: Well, I think there's a couple things in there that I think are quite important. One is as a parent, as you know, as I know, and I work with other people's kids in my business, even if parents are giving their children good guidance, children don't always listen to their parents, because it's coming from their parents. So to be a voice from the outside, that's much more objective, you can be delivering the same message that a father or mother delivers. But you may actually be more likely to be listened to, because it's unbiased. And there's not the same sort of relationship or attachment that a child has to a parent. And so, you're serving a purpose in that, because I hear that a lot from parents are saying like, hey, they're not really listening to me, maybe they'll listen to you, which is a privilege to be able to talk to somebody else's child and say, hey, this is what I think you might be able to do to put yourself in a better position to succeed. And to the parent’s credit, I think that I get a lot of parents who come to me and say, hey, what do you think about this, or how should I do this? Because sometimes it's like, the relationship is so interconnected, that we just drown each other out. Because we're always with each other or whatever. The other thing, I think that's important is the way you described it is, it's not necessarily the qualification, it's the intent, right. What's the intention? If your intention is to help other people and share your experiences and what you've learned over the last? How many years of your life like, I mean, sure, can we run afoul of a young person just out of, you know, it could be dumb luck, we might say something that is taken the wrong way. But if you intend to help somebody, and you have a good intention, then that's all you could do. Like most people don't even go out of their way with that good intention to try to help somebody else, they just worry about themselves.
[00:13:47] Tim Williams: Yeah. And if I may follow up on that. You know, a good number of people I imagine, as a matter of fact, it's funny, you're speaking now see, now I'm getting see, I knew it. I knew you'd get me all jazzed up now. I'm right awake. And I'm now into this man. So good job, man. Got me out of my funk. But I'm like you and we get to talk about what I'm doing. I get excited, because I'm trying to help in any way that I can. You know, when you look at what we would in, I even got a podcast episode about what success truly looks like. But if we're just talking from a perspective, maybe more materialistic of what people have achieved over and over and you know, this especially, you work in sports, how many different people that we can talk to, in all walks of life, not just sports, but in all walks of life, that they came from less desirable circumstances and situations. And they just decided that they were going to excel that they were going to succeed that they were going to do something, and so when you come at it from the perspective of you know, we're talking again about me not having credibility, to be honest, that that's, that's really not what's required. What's it is, you know, are you going to apply yourself? Are you going to push yourself? Are you going to? Do you have energy? Are you? Are you willing to do what needs to be done? Are you going to, I always tell my kids, I said, they will talk about different subjects matters about life. And I always say this, you need to give 10% more than everybody else. That's all you got to do, 10% more, and if you if you start giving just a little more, what you're going to find out, you're going to be doing that more and more and more in life. And then all of a sudden, what's going to happen is this weird thing called luck, the week that we so called luck out, you're going to start sort of finding yourself lucky in your you'll, wow, how come I fell into this? And how can this up? Because you're working hard you know, you're doing what needs to be done. And so I feel like well, maybe I don't have the credentials, I study, I look at what helps I'm trying to provide I'm trying to give back as much as I can. And you're right, if my desire is to truly help people. If these young boys out here listening, if their desire is to succeed, then you, I just did a podcast called 10 things that require zero talent, they need to listen to that. Because it's effort being on time, it's just basic fundamentals about life that actually put you in a better position. And so I have tried to apply that to what I'm doing as well.
[00:16:33] Mike: Yeah. Well, I mean, it's stuff that I talk to young people about all the time, which is controlling what you can control, which that includes your effort, that includes your attitude, that includes your preparation. Those are things that require no talent to your point. And that subject of sort of compound interests kind of so to speak of, if you're consistent in putting in that little extra effort over time, what seems to be luck is really just the confluence of that effort, finding itself in the right place, there's an opportunity. And I think that's hard because we live in such a one, we live in a short term oriented environment. Immediate gratification, that's pretty much universal. You know, and whether it's a sign of the times, or is it just human nature or both, everybody wants what they want right now. And we're always comparing ourselves to other people. We're not, we're looking at like, well, what's everybody else doing versus like, hey, if I just focus on me, and the thing that I'm doing? Yeah, maybe it's not going to pay off for me right away. But I know that in the long run, it is going to pay off. And then to tie it back to what you said originally, which is to say, then I'm creating a legacy for myself, because I'm doing the right things. And I'm investing in my future, that people can look at me whether it's my parents, my kids, friends, whoever that they are, I'm doing something that that they can be proud of, and that is a legacy. When you're gone, people look back and say like, hey, what was this guy all about? What was this character about? That's in short supply, I think.
[00:18:16] Tim Williams: Yeah. I like what you said they're about the legacy thing. So somebody who was it, you got me thinking now. Oh, Jim Gaffigan, the comedian. It was funny, you were saying that about legacy and leaving things behind. And I like him, because he's, he sort of just takes real life things. And he wants me to come and he said, finding out, trying to find out about my DNA, he said, what is that all about? He said, you do realize that if you have somebody in your family tree that is of any value, you're already going to know about it, who wants to know that? My grandfather was the village idiot and drunk, keep that DNA test, they're gonna find out oh, was the village idiot, you know, so. So I think that's important that, you're, like you said, leaving a legal legacy is vitally important. And I think you can do that, I guess we sort of have this theme about a legacy. But I think that comes in many ways in and it looks different for other people and in different situations and different families. But at the end of the day, what you both you and I are both, you know, we're bookending this whole idea that, it's being the best version of yourself that you possibly can you know, and if you know, if you take a little bit from what you're doing a little bit from what I'm doing a little bit from, and you find it wherever you can find it, you pull it out and apply it to yourself and I think that's the key that's always striving to become better. And you talked about comparing, I think the comparison, I may be wrong about this, but I think a good comparison is, am I a little better today than I was yesterday? Well, I be a little better tomorrow than I am today, and that's how I look at.
[00:20:07] Mike: Comparing yourself to you versus comparing yourself to others, which you have absolutely no control of. But I wanted to ask you to tell me more about the podcast, tell me about who you're looking to have on as guests or who your guests are? And sort of, what are some of the things you're talking about on the show?
[00:20:27] Tim Williams: Yeah, when I began the podcast, I was as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. You know, I was just, I don't want to say the wrong thing. I don't want to do the wrong thing. You know, anybody gonna listen. Even gonna care, that was the, that's me being very vulnerable, which, hey, you know what guys? We can actually be that one believe it or not. And so I sort of jumped in with both feet, not really known. I was doing and in began soon realizing, I think it was almost, and I wasn't looking forward as a therapy. But I think it was therapy for me, it was just, well, you just said in the beginning of this podcast, I get getting charged up. And I'm realizing that and offering ideas and suggestions and advice. And as I went through it, I really just, it was really trying to be very practical, some of the initial, and I'm still doing that today. But some of the initial themes, were really just helping young boys to be men. Well, what does it look like? Well, you know, they're a rite of passage, what does it mean? At what point do you become a young man versus a boy, and what does that look like? And then some practical things, how do you shake hands? What degree of pressure do you should you have when you're shaking hands? Should you stand up when someone's coming to addressing you, should just stay seated down? How do you handle shaking hands with a woman? There's so many things, factors there. When we get into areas of, you know how to, you know, recently was, like I said, the 10, what are the 10 things that you should do? Maybe, you know, you've got young men here that they're, maybe they're not really sure where they want to do where they want to go, or what college they want, maybe they don't want to do college, maybe they want to be get into a trade school? Well, how do I know that? Well start off with these 10 things that don't require talent, and let's just start there, and then apply these things to whatever career or profession maybe down the road that you're going to go after. So a lot of what it is, I just did one called essentials, you know, essential items in your toolbox, if you're getting ready to move out in your first time, and you need a little toolbox. Well, you don't need more than a hammer and a screwdriver. I mean, there's some basic things that you need is us guys, we need in that might, you might graduate into power tools down the road and I might do some podcasts about that. But we talk about both soft and practical skills, anything that relates to, you know, boys and men growing up, or boys growing up and young men. And so recently I've, well, you were one that we, you know, that I reached out to, but I begin reaching out and trying to see if I can find people like yourself, you're working with young boys and young men that are athletes, and are you know that that transition, what that's gonna look like, which I think is what you're doing is, man, I just think it's phenomenal. I've never heard of anybody doing that. And I just think that the mental aspect of how important that is, which I think a good part of what I'm doing is the same. It's a lot of this is mental fighting through and in and pushing through, and succeeding in life. And I had another gentleman by the name of James McLamb. James McLamb is one of the founding members of a program called “The Generation Ziglar”. And if you're familiar with some of your listeners might be familiar with motivational inspirational speakers, and I know that has can sort of have a tint to it, depending on who you are, but nevertheless, I think there can be some value added to that. And he had him on, and he helps young people to be able to be good speakers and be able to learn how to network and to communicate and be able to actually, I think he said three or four of them become full time public speakers of going out and just encouraging others. And then lastly, I don't want to fail to mention Jonathan Katherine, he is a best-selling author, and a fella that writes a number of books primarily for young people. And he just released a book in here, I'm promoting it, but I love what he's doing. But he just wrote a book called “Raising Them Ready”, which helps them from age two to 22. And how to how to handle life and how to prepare for life. Yeah, so he's a good author. So I just any, I guess, to wind this down anybody that I feel that can contribute to young men, I want them to have them on and those are some of the people that I've had read more recently.
[00:25:00] Mike: Yeah, we're very similar in that respect. I think I've gotten to a point now where I'm constantly looking for different perspectives on a sick development called development. So I'll go back to the handshake example. I think that's a perfect example of something that is never ever taught. We either learn it by watching or doing. But nobody ever says to us, like, hey, do you think about trying that, or what about this or? We just sort of learn that, that's one example. But there's so many things in our lives. If you think about, like, if I think about my childhood, and my growing up, like I just learned stuff. On my own, I learned it. When I moved out to go to college, I learned it when I when I started working, like, they're just things that you just like, realize, like, Oh, I'm not doing this the way I should be doing it. So I have to sort of learn by watching. But if somebody were to tell me when I was 15, or 14 or 16, like, hey, think about this, look, the person in the eye this is what, like, it's a tip that you can that can put you in a better position sooner. And I think that something else you said that I think is really important. And maybe it ties together is your comment about Generation Ziglar, to your point, like there is sometimes people look at that sort of motivational type of speaking or the motivational people out there as sort of with some skepticism. And the way I look at the world is I'm not going to give you my opinion, the way I look at the world, let's take it let's focus on the good, and take the good, and use the good versus criticizing on the things that you don't think are right, or the things that you think are wrong. Like, everybody has an opinion. But like, let's focus on the value in what those people are teaching, and I think that that's been one of the beauty. The beautiful things about podcasting for me is that you get to talk to people who have different perspectives, and you can learn from them. You take the good stuff, and you can leave what you want. But you don't have to criticize people. You can say, hey, that's a really good idea. Let's take it and use it. And everything else maybe doesn't work for me. But why are we going to focus on the negative?
[00:27:10] Tim Williams: You know, my, can I take that a step further?
[00:27:15] Mike: Absolutely
[00:27:16] Tim Williams: And by no means, if there are people that you said are skeptics, that's fine, but I'm gonna I challenged it from this perspective. Let me think about this. I'm going to, I have to, how many days? This would be a good exercise for me to, I'm gonna have to do this. So we get done. How many days do we live on average, would let's say we consider ourselves from age 13 till we die. Okay, just track with me here a second. I don't know how many 1000s of days, you're going to get up every single day. And you have a choice to make, the moment you wake up, you open your eyes. And let's just say we're just we're just playing a game. Let's say that you, I don't know how you could enforce this. But you know, we're just playing a fun game. Let's say that you have two options, you don't have any more options than this for the rest of your life. You either one you get up, or you wake up and the first thing is you have to say some type of motivational inspirational statement to yourself, or you say something negative for the rest of our lives. Like, maybe society is turned to that way. It's almost like, when we go, we get a good drink of water. I know, this is really, really radical. But do I even have to go any further with this story of where I'm headed? I mean, good grief, if we have a choice, okay, if we have a choice, and even though we don't think that motivation works, which I completely 100% disagree with that. I 100% disagree that it's that being inspired doesn't help us, then what's the alternative? And look at what the alternative does? And I would bet you, I think you were tracking together, I would bet you after they did that and they started doing research, we're gonna soon find out those people that succeeded, that are doing well, that are moving along in life are the ones that have said, You know what, today I'm going to make something of myself versus the ones that said, I don't even know why I'm still here on earth. I mean, it's a no brainer as far as I'm concerned.
[00:29:22] Mike: Yeah, absolutely. And so it's something that I mean, I comes up for me all the time in my work. And there's a noted he's now since passed, believe it or not, this gentleman, Trevor Moe odd, who is a was a mental performance coach, and he worked with Russell Wilson from the Seahawks and now the Broncos and they were very, very tight. And his hypothesis, his view was, well, if you say something positive yourself, is there a guarantee that it's going to work? No. But if you say something negative to yourself, then that's almost a guarantee that it's not going to help you. So you may have a neutral perspective, and that's better than being negative, you might not think anything about, you might not have a point of view, you might just say, hey, it is what it is, that's better than saying, hey, this really sucks. Because to your point, attitude is a choice. If you say something negative to yourself, I'm not happy about this, or this is crappy, or like, this is happening to me, you're almost certainly not going to help yourself. And so why choose that other than to maybe make yourself feel better? It's not really having the intended effect long term, it might help you cope in the moment, but it's really not going to serve the purpose long term. And I think that the world can serve to use more positivity, and I think it's just, everybody learns at their own speed, too. You know, and what I mean by that, is that it's not until you really need it, and you need some sort of faith, or some sort of real connection to something bigger than you that, it's just almost like out of desperation.
[00:31:03] Tim Williams: And negative thinking and negative dialogue, negative self-talk, here's what I think people don't get. What they don't get is, well, what is the words have to do with it. What that does is it, it produces a momentary pause in your life, okay. If I'm going to, if I want to climb a tall tree, and I'm afraid of heights, if I say to myself, I don't know that I can do this. The very first thing I'm going to do, I'm going to pause. I'm not going to move forward in any way, shape, or form. If I say to myself, I'm going to climb that tree. Now maybe there's a pause. But if I continue to say that, and I speak that, and I believe that my chances of moving sooner, moving more quickly, accomplishing the goal. Now here we are, here's where we're at right now we're getting down to real brass tacks of succeeding, there's a better chance that it's going to happen sooner than later. And then somebody can say, well, what's the so why, if it's, what's the point of it being sooner or later? Guess what, now you're moving on to something else and the more we say, I can't do that. I'm not gonna do. I don't think I can do that. And then we finally get to that point, we could be two or three steps ahead in life. If we were to continue to tell ourselves, I can do this, I can manage this. And then now we find ourselves a year, two years, five years down the road, and we're going, why am I still back here?
[00:32:39] Mike: Well, I mean, you've tapped into some pretty fundamental concepts in sports psychology, things that I would work on with athletes, which is to say, the way we talk to ourselves, or the things that we think affects the way we feel about ourselves, which then affects our performance, or what we do. So when I asked athletes the question of like, well, if you're thinking negatively, how are you going to feel? Not going to feel very good. Well, if you don't feel very good, how you gonna play? Not gonna play very good. So that self-talk means a lot. Now, the flip side of it is, is if we tell ourselves something, if we try to affirm something for ourselves, or tell ourselves, we can do something that maybe is unrealistic, that can also lead us to demotivate. So for me, it would be, I'm going to climb that tree, I don't really want to climb that tree. And I'm not sure I can even get to the top. But what I can do is I could take one step and see what happens. I took that step, and I'm safe. I could take another step, because what you described right is, once you say, like, I can't do something, it's a threat, you do pause, and you're saying, like, I don't want to put myself into harm's way. It's a survival instinct. So you're like, once you tell yourself, you can't do something, you're thinking like something bad is gonna happen. So why am I going to put myself in harm's way I’ll just not do it, it's easier. As opposed to saying, I don't know if I'm going to get to the top. But if I take three steps today, and I stop tomorrow, I'm going to take four, and the day after I'm going to take five. And it's to go back to that what we were talking about before, it's that self-referenced, you know, competence, like, hey, I can do this. Like, I am doing better than I did yesterday. And then in two weeks, if I climb the tree, I get it. Now I can climb a taller tree. It doesn't always have to be like on that first try. And I think that's what happens a lot of times with young people is there's this sort of all or nothing mentality, this perfectionism, which I see with young people, particularly young men of hey, like, I can't make a mistake, can't do this, can't do that have to be perfect. If I'm not perfect this is it's going to look bad. And that is something I work really hard on letting them know that it's okay to make mistakes, but you've got to learn from it. And you've got to have a positive attitude. You've got to have a good attitude and you've got to be working on it constantly and invest in the process because it might not happen overnight. It might have to take some time. And if you're okay with that, you're going to get to where you want to go. Maybe just not as fast as you thought you were gonna, it was gonna take to get there.
[00:35:09] Tim Williams: Appreciate it brother.
[00:35:11] Mike: I will. You know, and that's, but I think it's important. It's important to have these kinds of conversations to understand that ultimately, there's a choice. If two people, if somebody gets on and listens to this podcast with Mike and 10 talking, they might choose to say, I don't really believe that crap, that's okay. But deep down inside, do you really does anybody really believe that they just don't want to believe it, because it's hard to take the next step. But at least you're planting the seed of, hey, like, if you think about it in a different way, you're going to be able to do a lot of the things that you don't think you can do. And that's how I look at it is not everybody's ready to change your accept advice or suggestions the day they get them. They might take a little bit of time, but at least we're having the conversation, say, if you want some help, it's here and that's what you're doing on your podcast.
[00:36:06] Tim Williams: I think it's all about timing too.
[00:36:12] Mike: I agree.
[00:36:13] Tim Williams: I often feel like, you know, whatever, sometimes I'll drop a seed of wisdom for my son, for example, and I'll think to myself, and my daughter too, and I'll think to myself, you know, years ago, or whatever, I'm like, they're not getting this, this isn't getting through, they're not. And then lo and behold, six weeks, six months or two years later, there's a conversation, or I see this playing out in them playing out exactly what I said they need to do. And you're like, hey, wait a minute. So it's actually, well, a seed is the way, I was explaining that. And it's sort of, it's growing now a little bit. So I think with what we're doing, Mike, I think well, is worth moving on. I'm well into moving into my second year of podcasting. I don't care when people show up. I don't care what condition they're in. I don't even care if they're naysayer, but maybe at some point, something that I said, will be a value. I know when I was starting to do this podcast I had I was having a conversation with my father in law, really, really good guy. And we were sharing a little bit about this. And, and he's a he's interesting. He's very just, very realistic, got extreme realism, and you almost look at it as negative, but he tries to bring, he tries to speak to you from a truth perspective. And he said, I want to ask you a question. He said, if you do this podcast a year, and you have one listener, you can still do. And I stopped for a minute, because he said, you can have passion all day long. But are you is it to the point that you don't care that you're just going to pursue this? And he says, I don't think that's going to happen. But he said, the point I'm making is how bad do you really want to do this? And if it's to the point that one listener listens. And I pondered that for a few minutes, and I came back to him and I said, you know what, I can answer that to say this. If I can at least get just one young man to tell me that this made a difference, then it was worth everything that I've put into it. And it was probably I want to say two months ago, I got that validation. And just through an exchange on Instagram, a young man had just followed up with me and just said, I listened to you the very first thing Monday morning when I when it drops, as I'm going to school, and he said it's hugely beneficial. And then he says, he is a like a junior instructor at a jujitsu school. And he has about four or five young boys that are 10, 11, 8, years old. And he says a lot of what you present, I find myself presenting to these young men. Sorry, Mike, I can get very emotional. Because that's what we're trying to accomplish, or isn't that at the heart of everything that we do is not that I need validation, but that my desire is some kid out there is saying, yeah, I think some of this stuff is probably something I should listen to. So whether it's someone that's now sort of circling back to what you said, or whether it's five years from now that some kid listens to this episode, man, that to me, it was worth all the time and the effort put into it.
[00:40:01] Mike: I completely relate to that, and I get emotional too. I get people to come back to me, and they'll say thank you for doing what you do or how you helped me, and it that is what it's about. And even though we don't do it for that reason, it does contribute to the motivation to keep going at a certain level. Because, you know, we can be as internally motivated as we are to do this at, at our own expense, probably at a loss, we're spending money, we're spending time. It's not about that. So you can keep going forward and doing it. But like, when someone comes back and says, Hey, I listened to this, and it was shit, if someone tells me that they just listened. It's like, I won. And while you really listening to me, and what you have to say, it's really incredible. And I think that it's a noble thing to do, especially when you have the intent, the intention of trying to help people. And that's the only reason I do what I do. You know, obviously, we all have to make a living, and we all have to do what we have to do to take care of our families. But when I get up every day, that's what I get up to do is to help other people. And you obviously have that same motivation. And I think it's really cool and important to be able to do that. So as we sort of wind down a little bit here, I have to ask you, what's your favorite part of being a podcaster?
[00:41:30] Tim Williams: My favorite, that's actually, that's a really good question. I've never been asked that before, what's my favorite part of being a podcast? I could go in a lot of different directions, a couple of things. Oddly enough, I enjoy public speaking, I think I've done it off and on throughout my life. And I've found myself really enjoying that. As I say, sometimes on my episodes, I like to flap my jaws and I enjoy that. I think the other part of it is what we were just talking about. I like to inspire, encourage, motivate, offer wisdom to these young boys. I think there's value in that, if I can say that humbly, I think there's some type of value there. And as far as the podcasting in general, I'll tell you what is really unique about this, and you and I talked about it just so amazing. How us podcasters, we actually want to help each other succeed. I don't know of any other industry in America, maybe they were in the other parts of the world, but at least in America, I mean, Lowe's and Home Depot have a deep grudge against each other. And I'm not picking them out for any particular reason.
[00:42:50] Mike: No, that’s a great example.
[00:42:52] Tim Williams: Anyway, Walmart and Amazon or whoever, whatever they guys are, there is this idea that we're just fighting tooth and nail for every half cent that's out there. And I had no idea that when you get into podcasting, it is a community, it is a group of people that are saying, Hey, maybe I get 1000 downloads a day, and you get 50 a week, that doesn't matter, man. Let's get together and help each other increase our listeners, and I can help you and you can help me. And I've also found too, that outside sources like authors and musicians and people, then they're more than willing to come on. Now, of course, I get it. They're getting up.
[00:43:34] Mike: We all are promoting ourselves at some level, but that’s okay.
[00:43:37] Tim Williams: Yeah, of course. What's wrong with that, but the point is that there's such a nice community, just you and I, for this matter. This is how we started exchanging and having conversations on a collaborative website and here we are. So that even lends itself for me personally, to even enjoying podcasting, even more than I thought I would you know.
[00:44:00] Mike: Yeah. So I think you hit on something that's really been great for me, which is to say, I feel like when I have a conversation with somebody on a podcast, whether its 30 minutes or an hour, or whatever it is, I feel like I know them really well. Like really, personally after one conversation, because if you think about the world we live in, you don't sit and have a 30 or 60 minute conversation with a stranger anywhere, anytime, anywhere. We're getting together for the purpose of talking about something that's really substantive. And after an hour of having those conversations, you feel like you not only know that person, but you like you feel like you can trust them because you just had this really deep conversation about something that was really important to them or you or both. And like that's a really cool thing where you start to build relationships with people just do these conversations that then we're sharing with the world, maybe it's 50 people, 5 people or 5000, or whatever it is, but it takes you know, there's a lot of value in it for me, beyond just using it as a promotional vehicle, because it is that we live in a world where content is king and people were looking for things to listen to, and watch and all that stuff, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. But is it done with love? Is it done with care? Is it done with the intent of doing something good? If it is, and people will listen, and not so win, win for everybody and I think there's nothing wrong with that.
[00:45:24] Tim Williams: Yeah. And that's how you and I got to know each other. I've interviewed you for my podcast, and that's how this relationship started. And we as soon as we got to the end, I was like, yeah, I like this guy. This was what I love you, that's a good point. You know, you're right. There's very, very seldom do you get to know somebody almost instantly in any other type of industry. So that was a good point and I like that point.
[00:45:48] Mike: And for me that, I'll just add, my favorite part about it is like, I'm a really curious guy. My favorite part is getting to know other people and asking them questions about their life and their experiences and what they know, because I learned from it. If nothing else, I learned from the people that come onto my podcast, and like, if nothing else, like if this ever ends, like, I've learned a whole bunch of stuff, you know?
[00:46:10] Tim Williams: Absolutely.
[00:46:11] Mike: There's a whole bunch of stuff that lives in perpetuity that people can access to learn from, that's a pretty cool thing to be able to do. And so with that, the last question I will ask you is, and I asked the question, everybody, if there's one piece of advice, or one thing that you would share with someone listening, let's call it the target audience, which is sort of a teenage young man, what is that piece of advice? What would you share with them?
[00:46:40] Tim Williams: The one piece of advice that I was given that, and actually hasn't been very long ago that I needed, was to not let the past dictate your future. There is an enormous amount of mistakes that I've made. There are a number of circumstances that I found myself in that I wish I hadn't. There were decisions that I made that I wish I could go back and change. None of that matters. Doesn't matter one iota. What matters is what I'm doing today, to set myself up for the future. And by the way, let's use those mistakes, let's use history to learn from, let's use history to not repeat it, I think, good majority of some of those people that don't learn are those that just continue to repeat the same bad habits in the same issues that they've dealt with in their past. So my encouragement to your young listeners is I could care less what your background is. I could care less what your color is, I could care less about your, whether you come from hype, high pollutant fluting type to pour camera, nothing in your past makes any difference to what your future can be. And keep in mind, there and we could go on and on. But my one point is just start now changing your tomorrow.
[00:48:16] Mike: I love it. So good way to end. Tim, thank you so much for coming on. It was a pleasure to speak with you again. I appreciate it. I think we have some really good conversation. So I enjoyed this one and hopefully kind of got you energized for the rest of the day.
[00:48:32] Tim Williams: Absolutely, this was a blast man. I loved it, thanks for waking me up.
[00:48:39] Mike: All right, I'll talk to you soon.
[00:48:41] Tim Williams: Sounds good.
[00:48:42] Mike: Thanks again.