Do you struggle to ask for help when you need it?
Welcome to "The Freshman Foundation" Podcast where we help young athletes BE READY for every next step in the game of life through mental performance coaching.
I recorded this podcast on October 5th, 2023 during mental health awareness week, so I thought it was fitting to talk about the subject of asking for help.
In Episode 50 of The Freshman Foundation® Podcast, I discussed WHY it’s so hard to ask for help. In this episode, I dive deeper into HOW we can get better at asking for help.
In my view, asking for help is a skill. This perspective is highly personal. I had to learn to ask others for help in my late 30s and early 40s to address my own mental health and life challenges. Practicing asking for help allowed me to get better at it, and ultimately, it improved my life.
SO, what was your biggest takeaway from this episode?
The thing that I would like you to take away is that there is absolutely no shame in asking for help.
I would be remiss if I said that asking for help is easy for me. It is not. I don’t think it is easy for anyone because of the fears associated with doing so. Our brain wants us to believe that asking for help is a threat when it is exactly the opposite. It is an opportunity.
If you view asking for help as a skill that you want to improve like technical and physical skills, then the odds are you will get better at it. Doing this requires a growth mindset.
I want to thank you for joining me in this discussion about asking for help.
To get access to more great content, register to join our community at https://michaelvhuber.com.
High school athletes, if you want to BE READY to dominate the leap to collegiate athletics, visit https://michael-huber.mykajabi.com/offers/PSSHJCp2
Please follow The Freshman Foundation® on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thefreshmanfoundation
Thank you for listening. We’ll see you back soon for Episode 70.
Matt. How's it going, buddy? Matt Milone 0:05 What's going on, Mike? How are you? Mike Huber 0:06 I'm doing well, man. It's good to have you on. It's good to see you face to face for the first time. We've only talked on the phone, but I really enjoyed getting to know you a little bit, and hopefully we can talk more about your experience as a college baseball player here on this podcast. So just to let everybody know, sort of what's your background, talk a little bit about your baseball experience. Matt Milone 0:28 Yeah. So coming out of high school senior year, I was going to NYIT. It's a D two in Old Westbury Brookville area. Got a scholarship there. I want to thank Rojas Gales and Calinato for taking me under their wing, but it was unfortunate that COVID was happening during this time. So, like, two weeks before we moved in, we got an email saying that all athletics are closing for like, two years or something like that. And I was like, man, what am I going to do? Because by then, everyone had their Roshes full for the winter and upcoming spring. So yeah. Went to a JUCO in Pennsylvania. After that, went to FDU. Haley Dickinson University in New Jersey. Got an opportunity then, you know, now I'm here at Maritime, so couldn't be more happier to have Coach Barbieri taking me in, seeing a Coach Pat. So, yeah, it's been a crazy journey, but everything happens for a. Mike Huber 1:46 Reason. I know you told me a little bit about that when we talked. I think it is right, because we talked you originally you committed to NYIT on a scholarship, Division Two. Then you go to JUCO, then you go to Division One in New Jersey. Now you come back to Long Island and you're playing Division Three baseball. So you've basically been at all four levels of that's a I guess that's a good segue to talk about. Right. So growing up on, you know, I'm a Long Island guy. I played baseball long, long time ago in Long Island. I have affinity for that. Right. And you grew up you play baseball in Long Island, you get a chance to go play in college, and then you sort of go through those different levels. Tell me what that was like. I mean, going from high school to college, but then also playing at the different levels throughout the way, what are the big differences you've experienced? Matt Milone 2:46 Yeah, so I think from high school to college, definitely a big jump in your life, a new chapter where you got more responsibilities on your hand. Starting off from D Two, I didn't really get the experience of playing baseball, what the facilities were like, because I was just there in the fall taking classes. So I was really trying to look for where my next step was going to be college wise. The JUCO route, it was indoors. Had a gym. We would go like, two, three times a week to go hit. Lifting was like three times a week. So it was different because the kids in JUCO, they're very talented, so you don't really expect that coming from that. But yeah, in the D one level, you get to play four games in the fall. Three to four games. I think it is it's different for every division, I think scrimmage wise for college. But yeah, we do play three games in the fall. Our lifts were three times a week. So time management is definitely something you have to try to control. And then now I'm here at Maritime, you lift on your own. There's really no set lift times that you can lift. It's just you're on your own. With lifting practice for the fall, we did three times a week. When the season starts, it's, I think, six times a week. Again, like lifts on your own. So it varies different divisions with lifts or practice. I mean, happy to be. Mike Huber 4:51 Know what you've been. Right. Like so if I'm thinking about it, tell me if I get this wrong, right. But you grew up in Suffolk County, so you grew up in eastern Long Island. Then you end up you stay in Nassau County, right. Is Westbury. Right. Then you go to Pennsylvania for JUCO. Then you go to New Jersey for FDU. Now you're in the Bronx, right. With you've been not only you've been at four different levels of baseball, you've been in four different places over four years. There's a lot of change there. Right. And being able to handle that I can't imagine was easy. And clearly you found a place that you're comfortable in because you had a really good season last year, which we'll talk a little bit about this access baseball banquet that's coming up in November. I'm sponsoring the award my company is sponsoring, the award that you're receiving in terms of college Player of the Year. Clearly you went out and were able to adjust well enough that you could go out and play and be successful on the field. But what were some of the things and maybe not just where you're at now, but just in general off the field, things that really challenged you through the process of bouncing around? Matt Milone 6:05 Yeah, that was pretty tough because after NYT closed down, it was like 50 50 on if I want to come back and play baseball or not. It was a great opportunity I had scholarship wise, and I think just looking for a new spot, it's not the same culture as I would have had at NYIT. So it's all different cultures when you go to different programs and, you know, I think trying to fit in or just get used know, the baseball team, the school, the atmosphere, I think it gets a little challenging at first, but I had a couple of friends who went to these schools, and different coaches reached out, so it was kind of fitting. Yeah, it definitely wasn't the plan that I wanted to have. Yeah, definitely tough on the mental side. But like I said before, everything just happens for a reason. So I wanted to continue to play baseball. I still do career wise, so I know I just had to work hard and people will find you. Mike Huber 7:19 Yeah. But you said after NYIT New York Tech decided to shut down in athletics, you said it was like 50 50. Right. So what was ultimately the reason why you decided to stick with it when it could have been easy to be like, I'm not going to do this. Matt Milone 7:38 Because I wanted to stay active. I like to be active, lift, do, whatever. If I were just continue on school, I feel like I'd miss baseball. So during that time period when I wasn't playing and when COVID was happening and what was going on with NYIT, I was like, wow, I miss baseball. I don't think I could ever quit. I've been playing since I was five. Now I'm a senior now, so I got to try to work my way up and just continue to grind. Mike Huber 8:15 It goes fast, right? I can relate to that, man. Play as long as you can play, right? Because you just don't know when it's going to end. And if you can do it and you miss it, you don't want to regret not playing. And clearly you've taken that path, but I think a lot of people do and they look back and go, I wish I would have kept going. I want to back up a little bit. So when you were in high school, right, you're going through the recruiting process. So take me through what how did it go? What were you looking for then? Did things it sounds like you were really happy with your choice for NYIT and it just circumstance sort of took it away from you. But as you were going through the recruiting process, what were your options? Matt Milone 9:01 So it was peak of sophomore year during high school. I was playing for Tri State Arsenal at the time. There was a New York team and a jersey team, so I played for both. The jersey team traveled more than the New York team. Like, go to Florida, georgia. I think once I went to Georgia, I had a great week in Georgia. I was getting looked at by a couple of different colleges, like Duke High Point. So I was getting looked at. So I would go to their camp. They would invite me to a camp. These visits and I just didn't really perform the way I should have performed at these camps. And some of these colleges kind of blew me know, which I understand. But yeah, like, some of the Long Island schools blew me. Um, so Tech was there, actually, Rojas was my coach for Tri State, and he was back then the coach at NYIT. So he came to see me play during high school, and then junior year was when I had a great season. Think about it, like 320 or had a couple of bombs. So that really showed out to why I picked NYIT. And it was honestly my only choice, too, at the time, because these different colleges just didn't want me. NYIT was my only choice, and I was happy that I'm grateful for the opportunity and scholarship when I got it. Mike Huber 10:49 I don't really know. I mean, if I'm being truthful, I don't really understand that recruiting process the way that you do, because you went through it, right. And 30 years ago, that looked very different than what it does now. Right? Matt Milone 11:01 Yeah. Mike Huber 11:02 We weren't going to Georgia and Florida and to all these tournaments that everybody goes to routinely every year. But it's interesting, right. You go down to Georgia, right? Is that the woodbat? Right? WWBA is that the yeah, yeah. Everybody goes down there, plays, right? Like, there's obviously colleges down there. You could play great for a week and get all these looks, right. Then you go to a camp, maybe you don't play as well as you could or should have. Right. Because of whatever reason. Right. You just have a bad weekend or whatever. And it's amazing how quickly those opportunities come and go, which I think ultimately speaks to the number of baseball players that are out there now that are so competitive. There's so many choices, I think, for these schools, that it's a lot of pressure. Right. Because if you don't perform at one of these camps or at a tournament, you feel like that's going to take away your opportunity. And like you said, things happen for a reason. And it sounded like NYIT was a great choice. I mean, when you were going through the recruiting process, like, when you're going through those camps, what were you thinking at those points where you're like, wow, these guys are interested in me now? They're not. How did you handle that? Matt Milone 12:17 I feel like I had a lot of pressure on me. I felt like I had to go out. I felt like I was too tense, and that really didn't justify what I did on the field. Yeah. Putting so much pressure on me, like, I had to do well, I kind of want a scholarship from these guys. Great school, great baseball program. So I was just trying to ball out. And then when a couple of them didn't reach back out to me or just didn't reach out at all, I was like, all right, maybe I should change something, change the way I'm feeling. My body, like, keeping everything maybe loose, just going with the flow. So I didn't really think too much about these scouts going to see me, these colleges going to see me. I kind of just went out there and just played my game, and I tried to block all that out. Like, if there was college coach there, I would be like, all right, it's me versus the other team, me versus the pitcher. Sound like me versus these different college coaches. So, yeah, I just try to block everything out and just play my game. Mike Huber 13:34 Do you think maybe some of the pressure that you felt or some of the things that were going on, was that more internal, like putting it on yourself, or did you feel like there was pressure from the outside, too? Matt Milone 13:47 A little bit of both. I would definitely say a little bit of both. Internally, on the mental side, if I struck out, made an error in the field, I can't sulk. I can't show these coaches, like, bad temper. They're not going to want a kid like that, which I honestly didn't handle that well up until high school. High school was when I was mentally, I was pretty decent for the most part when it came to not having a bad day or it was a weekend game and just didn't do good. I try to keep my head high to just give me that positive energy back for the next game. Mike Huber 14:33 Yeah. What do you think changed if you got better at that in high school? What do you think it was that changed your mental approach to the game or your outlook? Was there something specific? Matt Milone 14:47 My father, he actually, during a travel game, it was when I was maybe 1314 years old, you could just tell, I think I struck out or grounded out, and he talked me into the game. He's like, you got to change your attitude. He's like, no one wants to see a kid sulking in the outfield or when you're even that bad, walking back to the dugout. So he kept telling me that, and I was like, all right, something needs to change quick, because if it doesn't, then baseball career is not looking too high for you. So I think sophomore year of high school kind of hit. I started to get up myself, started stay positive, even if something bad happened. And my teammates were always there for me, too, like, oh, you want to go hit? You want to talk about it? It was definitely rough, the mental side going into high school, especially freshman year, because I got her freshman year, fraction my growth, played my elbow. So, yeah, it was definitely tough. But sophomore year really took a turn and got things going. Mike Huber 16:02 Well, first of all, let me say this. I think it's clear that you obviously respect your father's opinion and advice, because I think a lot of kids that age probably wouldn't have taken it to heart as much as you did. Truthfully, I've had players parents come to me much later in high school saying, my son is a great player, but he can't control his temper. He can't control his emotions. This is like a 1617 year old kid who's throwing his helmet or bad or whatever after strikeouts, and it looks really bad and it's a reflection on the family, I think, that could continue on through high school and college. Right, but you're right, a coach doesn't want that, right? Because you don't want to have to deal with that. And the fact that you were able to make that change is really important. And it's certainly something that an attitude is something you have complete control of. Right. So if you're able to keep that in check and you're able to control yourself, I think that's going to go a long way to getting noticed because it's not only the performance, but it's also being able to be composed. When you were a freshman, when did you start playing varsity baseball? In high school. What year? Matt Milone 17:14 Sophomore year. Mike Huber 17:16 Okay, so what was that like? Because obviously you're 15, maybe 16, you're playing against guys two years older and you're coming off of an injury. What was it like there that sophomore year when you get called up to varsity, right. Presumably a lot of your friends are playing JV like you normally would in 10th grade. You're on varsity, you're coming off an injury. What was that like for you? Matt Milone 17:40 Yeah, so it was difficult in the fall facing kids that were my age, a year or two older, pitching, I don't know, mid high age. Mike Huber 17:55 Big difference. Matt Milone 17:56 Big difference. And these kids are big too. I was like scrawny. It looked like it didn't fit in, but at the time, EJ Exposito, he was drafted to the Braves. And Logan O'Hoppe. He's on the angels now. The know, they know helped me out trying to become go under their wing a little bit. So they definitely helped me out with that whole process of varsity wise, like the big difference in Java to varsity. So, yeah, just different, bigger kids, stronger, faster. So that's when I really knew I had to hit the weights, run a lot, eat better. So that's where it really took a turn and had to really focus my body more. Mike Huber 18:55 Yeah, well, it's funny you say that, because I was getting ready for this. I just sort of did like a quick search on the Internet, right, and you get your sophomore year perfect game picture and you were like 150 pounds. Now you see a picture in college and you're like 50 pounds heavier. Right. It's a big difference. Right. And the kids who are 15 are throwing 80 and the kids who are 18 are throwing 88. Right, or 90. That's a big difference. Right. And you've got to be able to see that velocity to get used to it. And that's a tough transition. Right. So you have to be mentally tough to be able to accept that failure for a bit until you get more comfortable seeing consistent velocity. Right. And a lot of kids, baseball players in general, whether you're a sophomore playing varsity in high school or freshman playing against seniors in college or you're drafted to play professionally. Right. There's always going to be somebody better and who's more advanced, and so you've got to learn how to weather that storm, especially when you've always been one of the best, which I'm guessing you were. Right. Like, if you're know varsity as a sophomore and you're know, Tri State Arsenal for New Jersey. Right. I think Mike Trout played Tri State Arsenal for New Jersey. A good know, like, you got to be good, but at the same time you're used to being really good. Now all of a sudden, you're like, oh, these guys are way better. Yeah. And it's got to be motivating. Right. It can't make you down. And it's great that you had those guys. Like, I didn't even realize they both went to they did, yeah. It's great to have that kind of player to play with who can mentor you through that and support you. It has to be pretty cool. Matt Milone 20:41 Yeah. Logan was actually a senior at the time when I was a sophomore and EJ was a junior at the, you know, once Logan went on to get drafted by the Phillies. At the time, it was just me and know, hitting off the know, seeing that velocity and seeing live pitching too in the fall really, you know, seeing different know what's there. So it was definitely a challenge, but when I was with those guys, they helped me out a still do you. Mike Huber 21:16 Still keep in touch with those guys? Matt Milone 21:18 I keep in touch with EJ a little bit. Logan, not so much. Mike Huber 21:23 Okay. He's with the Angels now, right? Matt Milone 21:26 Yeah, he just got transferred to the Angels. Traded. Mike Huber 21:30 Yeah. That's pretty cool, right? I think listen, I guess at this point, how much more eligibility do you have left? Matt Milone 21:42 So I have an extra year left, so I'm probably going to take that. Mike Huber 21:47 So it's two more years. Matt Milone 21:49 Yeah. So I have this year, then next year. Mike Huber 21:51 Okay. So ultimately, what's your goal in all this? What do you want to get out of baseball? Matt Milone 22:01 So right now I'm kind of 50 50 on what I want to do if I want to stay here next year or transfer and continue on my career. Right now, my goal is to play professional baseball. So I've been trying to work hard. Even though I had one good year under my belt, I still have to be consistent with myself and just continue to keep doing what I did last year and be even better. So right now, that's where I pretty much stand. I just had to have the season I did last year or even better, and people will see me. Mike Huber 22:44 What are you working on now to do that? Matt Milone 22:49 Definitely one thing is to lessen my strikeouts a little bit okay. And start getting on base more. That and stealing some bags. I think I only had like six bags last year, so kind of want to hit the double digits. Mike Huber 23:07 Were you a base dealer in high school? Matt Milone 23:09 I mean, I'm pretty quick, so I would like to, but, yeah, during high school, I was pretty quick. Mike Huber 23:15 Okay. Matt Milone 23:16 Way more bags than I did. Now. Mike Huber 23:20 I'm actually interested in this. I'm curious. Is stealing more bases in college, is that on the coaches, or is that on you or both? Matt Milone 23:34 With me, it's on me. You have a green light to go, I think. Yeah. You have to build, like, a trust. You have to be kind of know what's going on, the game, the situation. Like some kids on my team, they have the green light to go, depending on how your steel start time is what's the pitcher as you won one, one, two. How's the catcher behind the plays? You have a good arm, so there's a lot of factors that play into it. But, yeah, I do myself have the green light. Mike Huber 24:09 Okay. So why do you think that you didn't run as much as you maybe wanted to last year? Matt Milone 24:19 I think I didn't really hit a lot of singles, to be honest. Mike Huber 24:24 It's a good problem to have. Matt Milone 24:28 Not to be the way I am, but I had a good amount of doubles. I had more doubles than I had singles last year. I have more home runs than I had singles last year. So I think it kind of played a factor, and I think just most of the kids that were pitching at the time, they had quick start times to the plate, so it was kind of tough. If I want to go 6ft off the base, you had to time them. So I think that kind of played a factor in it, too. Just trying to steal some more bags. But I think this year I'm going to be more smart on the bases and try to steal more bags, for sure. Mike Huber 25:13 So what kinds of things do you do to work on the other things? Right. So maybe making more contact and getting on base more. So maybe being a little more selective at the plate. How do you work on that? Can you work on that in the offseason, or is that more of an on field thing? Matt Milone 25:34 Yeah, so it's a little bit of both. With the getting on base two strikes, I just try to eliminate my lower half, and it's all hands. Strike zone expands with two strikes. I feel like anything close, you got to at least foul it off, or it's like a battle between you and the pitcher. So you're trying to win that battle, put the ball in play. These guys on base, you're trying to get the RBI, make them score for the team. So that's why I'm trying know, lower my strikeouts a little bit and try and just do what I do. And I've been working with marcus. He's one of my hitting. You know, he's he's really telling me the ins and outs of becoming a better know two strikes. We work on that all the time. Two strike approach. And when you're ahead of the count, just backspin. That's what we try to do this season. Mike Huber 26:43 I think it's really important. It's something I talk to guys a lot about, having a very attack oriented approach in no strike and one strike accounts. Right. Even if it's one one or it's even one, right. You're still in an attack count because you're not going to strike out. But once you get to two strikes now, the approach needs to change. And being able to do that on a consistent basis is important. Right. You don't even want to get into two strike counts. Right. Matt Milone 27:14 Exactly. Mike Huber 27:15 Right. You want to avoid that because your average goes way down, but you also just can't be as aggressive. But when you get there, you're making the adjustments you need to make to put the ball in play. I think I notice a lot of guys now, they get really wide in their base with two strikes. They shorten their stride and really almost force themselves to not take any stride, to just kind of stay back and put the ball into play. I mean, is that something that you do or is there something else? Matt Milone 27:41 So I do definitely try to widen my stance a little bit. Not so much where it's unbearable for me to swing. But yeah, what I do actually is I take my left foot and take my heel off the ground, and it's kind of like a timing thing just to make sure I'm on the rhythm thing, too, with the pitcher. But I only just pick up my back heel, my front heel, actually, and just try to time it. And it's just all hands from there. Mike Huber 28:13 Yeah, it's baseball. I mean, it's the best game in the world, but it's damn hard. Matt Milone 28:19 Yeah. Mike Huber 28:24 It just takes a lot of work. Right. And you could do all that work in the offseason. You can make all those adjustments and feel really good about it. And the minute you go out and start playing in the spring and if things aren't going the way they're not going the way you want them to, a lot of guys have to fight the urge to consistently make mechanical adjustments. Right. That's something I talk to players a lot about, which is just because things aren't going the way you want them to results wise, doesn't mean you should change the approach. I think a lot of guys, especially baseball players, they have to fight the urge to make a mechanical adjustment every time something doesn't go their way. That's kind of the mind f of baseball, this isn't working, so I need to change it. But that's maybe not necessarily what needs to change. It might need to be up here. Hey, I got to stay committed to this approach even though it's not working right now, because if I stick with it, it's going to start paying dividends versus like, oh, no, I got to scrap everything 100%. Matt Milone 29:26 And I'm guilty of that, too, because if I strike out, I'm like, this is a new two strike approach. I'm like, wow, I got to change it up. But I think just being consistent of what your approach is, I think it'll go a long way. Mike Huber 29:41 Yeah, it sounds like you have good coaching, too, and that makes a huge difference. Matt Milone 29:45 Absolutely. Mike Huber 29:48 It sounds like you got a lot to look forward to this season and beyond that. So I guess to close up, I want to ask, you mean, obviously this is something like you're being awarded, right? You're receiving the college player of the year award from Access Baseball, which is a Long Island media outlet, right. Covers all Long Island baseball. I grew up in Long Island. I was a Long Islandfbaseball kid, played high school four years in high. Like, what's it feel like to be able to come back, to come back to the community and accept that award, knowing all that you've been through and all the things that you had to endure to get there? What's that going to be like when you go to accept that award? Matt Milone 30:39 It's going to be honoring and grateful, in my opinion. I was underdog my whole life, which I love being the underdog because once you shoot up, you're like, why are you getting all this fame and all this hype around you? So it's going to be great to think about where I came from first freshman year till where I'm at now during that whole journey and process of what I've been through. So, yeah, definitely. Grateful is probably best thing you it's. Mike Huber 31:16 Going to be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to be there. I'm excited to watch you get the award. I'm excited to be a part of it. It's kind of like coming home. So I'm looking forward to November 4. It'll be a lot of fun. So, Matt, thank you for joining me on the podcast. It was great to talk to you and get to know you a little bit better. Matt Milone 31:33 Absolutely, Mike. Thank you for having me. Mike Huber 31:35 All right. Thank you. Matt Milone 31:36 Bye.