Why is Angela Teeple “all in” for living her purpose of helping young athletes?
Welcome to The Freshman Foundation® Podcast where we help young athletes BE READY for every next step in the game of life through mental performance coaching.
My guest in this episode is Angela Teeple, founder of a non-profit organization called All In Athletes. Angela was a Division I field hockey athlete at Ball State University in Indiana, and then a high school coach and teacher on the Jersey Shore for over 20 years. Angela started All In to have a more profound impact on the lives of young athletes and those around them.
In Episode 73, Angela wears her heart on her sleeve sharing openly about the experiences that have led her to living a life of purpose. You will love Angela’s candor, energy, and sheer passion for her work.
So, what was your biggest takeaway from my conversation with Angela Teeple?
My biggest takeaway is what Angela shared about living her standard over her feelings. It’s easy to give in to our feelings, especially when they are negative. However, if we have a standard that we aspire to every single day, then we need to be intentional about achieving that standard regardless of how we feel. This is hard, but it’s possible if we put in the work.
I want to thank Angela for sharing her story in this episode. You can learn more about Angela on her website https://allinathletes.org and on Instagram @allin.athletes.
To learn how mental performance coaching can help you BE READY for your next step in the game of life, visit https://michaelvhuber.com.
Please follow, like and comment on The Freshman Foundation YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@thefreshmanfoundation.
Thank you for listening. We’ll see you back soon for Episode 74.
Speaker 1 00:00
Hey, Angela. How are you?
Speaker 2 00:01
Hi, Michael.
Speaker 1 00:02
It's so great to have you on the podcast. My first question is, your sweatshirt says, mindset is everything. What's that mean to you?
Speaker 2 00:12
Mindset is everything. It's how you go into everything that happens to you, how you set yourself up for the day, how you handle tough circumstances, how you handle success. Your mindset determines everything that you go through.
Speaker 1 00:28
Okay, so how do you apply that in your life?
Speaker 2 00:32
Well, I would say that I learned that a negative mindset can really have a snowball effect on things that happen in your life. And when you have a negative mindset, you're not putting any energy out. And when you're not putting any energy out, nothing good comes to you. So, having a positive mindset, no matter what I've gone through, finding the silver lining, no matter how small it is, even if some days that cup of coffee was awesome, and I'm going to rely on that cup of coffee, gets you to the next day. And really, that's what it is. It's one day building on the next day building on the next day of a positive mindset, of a growth mindset, of an all in mindset. It all kind of comes together.
Speaker 2 01:21
It's life, really. That's what it is. It's your mindset.
Speaker 1 01:25
And I want to know more about what all in mindset means to you, but I'm curious. Have you always been able to look at the world the way that you just described, always seeing the silver lining? Or is that something that's changed over time?
Speaker 2 01:42
So, I would say it's peaks and valleys through everything in my life. I'm human, like you said, and I don't get it right all the time. But starting from when I was in high school, I found personal development very intriguing because I needed it. And so, no matter how bad things got, I knew right away to drive myself to counseling. I knew right away to open up a book or turn on Oprah. I knew that that was going to help me. Right. And then there were times in the valleys that I didn't want to have anything to do with it. And the only way to get out of the valley, though, was to then dive back into your mindset and to stay consistent is the work in progress that I'm in now. And putting that energy into other people to build their mindset has made me become more consistent, because I see it working in myself. And you kind of have to be true to yourself to be able to go out and teach it in the world. So it has changed my life more than ever now. And it hasn't always been consistent, of.
Speaker 1 02:48
Course, because you're human. And I love that. I think the vulnerability, right? That willingness to be vulnerable and say, like, hey, it's a work in progress. It's hard. Some days are harder than others. And I think modeling that for other people like you sort of referenced, is really important. So what is being an all in athlete or having an all in mindset mean to you?
Speaker 2 03:12
You're doing it at all costs. Like, you're all in for yourself, you're all in for your teammates. If we were to talk about being an all in athlete, you're all in, no matter what life throws at you. So when things are going great, you're all in to spread that message. When things are going bad, you're still all in. You're still showing up, and there's no other way you could say, okay, I'm not going to do it today. But you can't say that you're all in. Like you all risks. I have literally stripped my life of anything that's been comfortable. I have had things handed to me to say, okay, run away with this business. And I've said, no, I am all in to achieve my why and to build what I'm building. And that's what it is. You have to just keep going, keep going, just keep going forward, going, rise above all in, 2ft forward.
Speaker 1 04:10
Before you started all in, you were a teacher and a coach, is that right?
Speaker 2 04:14
Yeah, 23 years.
Speaker 1 04:15
So tell me about that. What did you coach? What was your experience like as a coach?
Speaker 2 04:19
So I got right out of college and I was a nutrition major, and I wanted to immediately like the experience in athletics. I wanted to give back, so I got right back into coaching, and then I was like, all right, let me see if I can become a teacher. Do I have to go back to school? School is not my thing. And fortunately, there was alternate route. And because of nutrition, I had a really big science background, so they were like, okay, you just have to pass this praxis test. And great story. It took me six times to pass the praxis test, but I got hired with the idea that I was going to, so I finally did, and I went alternate route and I did that for 23 years. But through it to say that I loved the education portion of what a periodic table was, or mixtures and solutions, that wasn't it. I loved the relationships that I built. I loved the connection amongst myself with my friends that I've grown up with there in that building. And then these kids and teaching them life lessons and coaching. So I was a very successful athlete. This programs I was a part of were awesome. And then I go to Monmouth Regional and we're not as good. And so I personally think it was God's plan for me to say, okay, so what are you still going to get out of it? And it was in those years of being a head coach that the team, building the culture, getting these kids to believe in something that we weren't going to go into a lot of games and win, so what we were going to get out of it. So I perfected my craft without knowing of being a head coach, of wanting the relationship with the parents, of building a culture. And I loved fundraising, I loved doing the senior class, the yearbook, I loved everything but sitting in front of a classroom and teaching about the periodic table. And eventually it took a toll on me because I was like, I need to be doing something different, because my character was being questioned, because I wasn't doing the right thing as an educator and as a professional. And that was when it was time for me to leave. So that's when I decided, I'm going to go all in and see where this takes me for the past year, and I guess ten months now.
Speaker 1 06:39
And I want to hear more about that. But how did your experience as an athlete shape your worldview as a coach? What were your experience like, your Athletic experiences? What did you bring to the table when you were coaching?
Speaker 2 06:53
So my experience as an athlete was the fact that I went to shore regional. I was part of a top notch program. There was a community there that took me in and I didn't have to do much. I was a goalkeeper. Our team was incredible. I think my junior year, I might have had like 15 saves, but I was still a part of that team. And my experience as an athlete was that it was hard. It was hard to compete and to keep up with what was demanded of me, despite everything that was going on in my personal life as a teenage kid, coming from a broken background. So it was hard, but it was necessary, because they took me in and they loved me and they taught me lessons that I knew. They built the foundation for me. And when I went to college, it was even tenfold. My college coaches, my teammates, being able to come from jersey, to go there, to Ball State in Indiana and be successful was like, that experience is something that I want to share. And it wasn't just about that. We were really good. It was more about. I'll tell you the top three things, family, first, I learned it there. Second thing is you have to just keep going like we've talked about, no matter how hard it gets. And then the third thing is hard work pays off. And no matter what's going on in your life, if you ask for help and you get it, you work hard and you're going to get what you deserve.
Speaker 1 08:26
Yeah, I mean, we have a lot of similarities in our background. I think one of the things, like, I don't know, your family life backstory, we don't necessarily have to get into that, but I am curious. So when you were in high school, people knew that you were in that situation? They knew that you came from a challenging family life.
Speaker 2 08:44
Yes.
Speaker 1 08:45
And how did they know? Did you tell them?
Speaker 2 08:49
I advocated for myself. One of my biggest strengths was advocating for myself. I opened up, I wore my heart on my sleeve. A lot of people knew what I had gone through. They knew my family. So that was a really big challenge in itself. I was always the kid that, being insurer regional, not many people parents were divorced. Not many people's parents lived the lives that mine lived. And so they took me in the many families, the Kelly family, the Waterman family, they all took me in to just say, you got this. Along with my coaches, Nancy Williams, Meg Kelly, Jen Carlyle. It wasn't always easy.
Speaker 1 09:31
I love that because when I contrast it to my own experience, it was so diametrically opposed. I grew up in a family that it was not normal or functional. Right. But I hid that. No one knew what I went through. I didn't advocate for myself. I kept it to myself. I didn't want to tell anybody, and I internalized that. And I think now that I am in the space that I'm in, I am a big believer in helping young people to advocate for what they need openly because of the fact that I wasn't able to do that. And then when I hear your story, I'm like, wow, you are really blessed to be able to have that fortitude as a person at that age to come forward and say, I'm going through this, I need support. I need family that would have made all the difference in the world for me. So it's just incredible to hear that. And it sounds like that experience certainly like being a part of a community, being a part of a family really shapes the way you look at the world now and the work that you're doing.
Speaker 2 10:33
Yes, it all came from there, honestly. And I was a pain. I mean, I was a tough kid, so I needed attention. And at times I just even wanted the negative attention, so I acted out. And so, for me, I feel like when I look back on it, I am able to relate to a lot of different types of kids because I know what they're really going through and why they're doing what they're doing. So, coaching a difficult kid was one of my fortes because that was like, oh, there's Ange. There she is. Little ange running know, I know what she needs. I know what she wants. I know why she's doing what she's doing. And I think a lot of coaches could really learn a lesson in that. It's like the kids that need the most attention are the ones that are hurting the most. And my coaches and these families that helped me did the best job that they could with how difficult I was. But then the other flip side of that was I was open. I just wanted to be loved, and they loved me to this day. So it's kind of cool. That's where the all in also comes from, because it's like, ever since I was a kid, it was like, all right, that's it. This is anch. This is it. I'm all in, all in anch. That's what it is. Yeah. It's wild.
Speaker 1 11:54
So, what you described as somebody who has a lot of empathy, right. And I can relate to that. I think that's probably one of my greatest strengths. A lot of it comes from the fact that when you grow up in a difficult situation and then have had my own personal challenges, you learn to not be as judgmental. Right. You learn to see the person for all they are and go like, well, what are they really going through? Versus being like, oh, that's a bad kid, or that kid's just a pain in the rear end, and you just write them off, and I don't want to deal with it, which is, I think empathy is something that's sorely lacking. But I'm curious, do you have trouble? Did you have trouble when you were younger, trusting other people?
Speaker 2 12:34
No, I trusted anybody. Really? Yeah. And I feel, I say this now, that dysfunction is like my superpower. I literally was like, all right. I felt for what my parents went through, so I had to step up in my family. I raised my sister from when she was little, and so I didn't have a problem trusting people because I knew it was my only way out, and the tough exterior wasn't going to work. And if my goal was to get out and to have a different life than what I was presented, then I had to trust people. And luckily I had people that were trustworthy who truly cared. I had the total extreme that didn't judge me. That took me in, and I just went with it, really. And people are surprised by that. One of the things that I think I do carry with me, though, is I do trust, but I feel too much for people and I forget to feel for myself. And so that is something that did come out of it. Like, I will feel for people because I'm so thankful and I feel what they go through. And then when it comes to my own feelings, sometimes I'm like, oh, I got this. I could do this. This is fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Speaker 1 13:57
Well, I relate to that, too. But I think when you're saying that, the first thing I think is you do have it, right. You do got that. I think that background, that experience as a young person really does. I don't want this to sound negative, but it really hardens you. You can handle anything. You are resilient. So it's like you almost are like, I know I can handle this. So I would rather worry about the other person. But at sometimes it backfires, right. Because you try to be so tough or you think you've got it and you really don't, and you need someone to talk to, you need help, you need to open up, you need to break down and you don't know what to do because it's like you're so used to just kind of figuring things out.
Speaker 2 14:42
Yeah. And you do break down. Yeah, you do. That's happened.
Speaker 1 14:47
Yeah, it does. It's happened to me, too. So at what point did you start to conceptualize, visualize, think of starting all in as a business, as a not for profit, as a brand. When did that come to fruition?
Speaker 2 15:05
So 2021, I lost my grandparents, and that was really hard for me. I went through some very hard personal times in a matter of three months. And I finished out the school year, 2021, go back to school. My sister gets pregnant. She has her son in 2022. She has postpartum depression. I take the twelve week sick leave to help her. And while I'm out, I'm like, I can't go back there. I don't love it anymore. My sister's going to need me. Luca needs, luca's my nephew. Luca is going to need something consistent from me. How do I go back there? I don't love it anymore. I don't function if I don't love something. I'm an extremely passionate person, and I wasn't I was going to work through the motions. My husband was the superintendent. I was putting him in a bad situation. I don't like rules. I wouldn't sign in on time. It just all started, and I'm like, I've got to be better in life. And I actually was going to get out to on the side, do inspirational t shirts and open up ocean cafe. I was going to buy that business, go in, take the summer to learn that business. And I learned I can't change anybody's life in the restaurant business. Sure. You want a cup of soup? Great. You feel warm and fuzzy, but I'm not changing anyone's life. So as that became closer to a reality, I backed out. And then I was like, all right, I'm going to dive into this inspirational t shirt company. And then through that, I realized that the message behind it was motivating, inspiring, working on people's mental health, being ange. And we came up with all in as a philosophy, my business partner and I, and we wanted to sell apparel. And quickly selling apparel turned into me going and talking to people. I never felt more alive being on stage in front of kids, adults, to talk about what it means to be all in, to tell my story. And then it morphed into this message, and then it morphed into, in order to make a difference and get funding and do what I want to do in this business, I need to make it a nonprofit. And so from there, we've turned it into a nonprofit, and I've have my own business as a keynote speaker and a mental fitness coach. Just trying to get that off the ground on both ends. So I'm trying to manage the nonprofit and that, but all with the same mission. All with the same mission to really work on those mental fitness skills, to be the best human you can know for adults and for athletes. So it kind of came that I also had the opportunity to buy Strallo's lighthouse is where I worked since I was 14, and I was going to buy the one in point pleasant, but I couldn't do both. As my cousin Jimmy Colano said, you have to be all in for one or the other. And I said, I've got to chase this dream of mine, and I have to go all in, finally. And what that looks like, I don't know, but it's pretty awesome sitting with you.
Speaker 1 18:20
Yeah, I was thinking about that as you were talking that idea that within a couple of years time, the details, the fine print has changed, but what you're doing never has. This is where I need to be in this space, helping people, sharing and coaching and doing all those things that I love to do because that's where I can have the greatest impact. And you don't know where it's going to end up. Right. Things change all the time. Like, I think it's going to be this, and it ends up being that. And at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter if you're doing what matters to you. Right. And I think that's always kind of your north star. Not you, but any of us. Right. Like, where do I want to be? What's my impact? And you're following that, which is incredible.
Speaker 2 19:11
I am. I feel like I'm working on all the strengths I've ever had, and pulling it all together and working for yourself is hard. So that's the challenging part. But honestly, I love fundraising. I loved fundraising. As a teacher, I love fundraising. So now I'm going to fundraise for the nonprofit. Going in and giving a group of kids resources and athletes for free because of my fundraising efforts and donors. Sounds incredible to me. Like, I'm okay not making a lot of money if I'm doing that. And these kids are going to get the foundation that was built for me, to get me here, is all I care about. It truly is. And I don't think I know that money, what I need to survive, will come to me if I'm following what I am supposed to do with my life.
Speaker 1 20:11
Yeah.
Speaker 2 20:12
Purpose driven life. It's what it is.
Speaker 1 20:14
Yeah. I think that that's really valuable for me to hear, because I do think that sometimes, like, hey, just keep doing what you're doing. I kind of am a believer in karma, even if you don't call it that. I think I try to remind myself, like, everything you're putting in, there is a reason why, and it's going to work out right. The way it's supposed to. But I think at the same time, it's like, there are definitely those nights where you kind of put your head on the pillow and go, can I keep doing this? Have you ever had those kinds of. Have you had that experience?
Speaker 2 20:47
I mean, just recently? Because I spent the whole year building up this apparel brand with a business partner and then deciding that, you know what? I want to turn this into a nonprofit, and we need to separate for our own reasons. Right. And so now I feel like I'm back at zero. I got to go back and start a website. I got to learn the nonprofit business. While I was gaining ground with ange teeple as a speaker and as going in and doing workshops. So all the balls in the air, something has to fall. So how do I prioritize the podcast? All in athletes, the nonprofit ange teeple, getting into schools, talking, and now it's just like, all right, I'm back at zero. And so I've got to be okay being back at zero, because it's part of the journey, I think, for me, because I feel like I'm finally where I'm supposed to be. But when you think about money is where I get caught up. And if I can put the money out of my mind and remember the why that we talked about, then I'm fine. Like, I'm totally fine. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? It's that part. It's, wow. I was at the top of the guide as a teacher. I was this, but I wasn't happy there, and I wasn't my best self. So you really have to stop and you have to do the work. I have to journal. I have to go through my processes. Right. I have to reset. I have to do all those things that we talk about and that we talk to kids about that me through every day, literally. And it doesn't go at smooth some days, but you surround yourself with the right people, and they'll remind you of what you're doing. And then, like, yesterday, I was having a rough day. I just got over Covid. I have to turn the business over, dissolve this business that I started for a year and a half and turn it into a nonprofit. And I got a call from a guy that works for the flag football up in North Jersey and said, we want to help you spread this in the flag football world, which is growing, and we love what you're doing. Let's talk. Sat down and talked to him, and it was like, okay, this is okay. Let's go. If I can have one of those conversations a day, I'm like, let's go. Move on to the next. They find you. It's like, they find you.
Speaker 1 23:09
Yeah.
Speaker 2 23:10
Thing. It was cool. It was really cool.
Speaker 1 23:12
So how do you prioritize all the balls that you're juggling?
Speaker 2 23:17
I don't know.
Speaker 1 23:18
It's a great question. That's why I asked. I was curious. Yeah.
Speaker 2 23:23
So I've learned that I have to have a to do list. I've learned that I have to have set times of the day that I'm going to work on each thing. I fly by the seat of my pants. So I pretty much dive into what's in front of me and go like all gas, no breaks is one of the things about me, but have to learn to be a better business owner and come back and say, I've got to get this done and this done and this done, and then know that it's a process. I'm going to send five emails. If no one writes me back, no one writes me back. I'm going to send those five emails tomorrow and then I'm going to do it the next day. And it's building blocks and it's trusting in that process every single day. Yes.
Speaker 1 24:05
I think what you said in the last few minutes is really valuable for everybody and it's valuable for me. And I certainly share this with not only my clients but people that I surround myself with is knowing what you can control, right? Getting up and sending those five emails, knowing that there's not an ounce of guarantee that anything's coming back, but still being able to do it consistently every day and going through that process and being like, being okay with not getting anything back. But I think eventually, sometimes when you don't get the feedback, it is really hard, right? You go through these periods where you're doing everything consistently all the time and nothing's coming back or it feels like nothing's coming back. How do you keep going? How do you stay all in?
Speaker 2 24:52
Because it's hard times and the only way to get through hard times is to go through them. And so to me, of course, every coach also needs their own life coach. So my life coach tells me that the more you continue to put the positive energy out there and stay the course, it will come back to you and you will be like, okay, let's keep going. And it's funny because probably in the beginning of November, I sent 250 emails legitimately in the span of three days. I didn't get one thing back. And you know what? As the competitor in me, I was like, all right, you want to send anything back? I'm going to keep going. I'm going to keep going. And then all of a sudden, it didn't come back to me in somebody reaching out to me with an email, oh, yeah, and come talk to my team. It came back to me tenfold in other things because I was still putting this positive energy out. I was still saying, I believe in this and it was still coming back to me. And sometimes when your back's against the wall is when you do your best work. So what if those 200 people started to respond to me, I wouldn't be here. So it puts you, I work best kind of when my back's against the wall. I mean, maybe that's just ingrained in me, coming from where I've come from. And so it's like, all right, that's the lesson that I was supposed to learn. Let's go. It's a really great way to. Yeah, it is. It's like my back's against the wall. Maybe I'm not supposed to talk to those 200 people. And now I feel like, thank you for not responding because if you did, I don't know how I would have saw you because I don't have time in my schedule.
Speaker 1 26:29
Right.
Speaker 2 26:29
So it's like believing in the bigger plan, I think is huge every single day. That's how.
Speaker 1 26:37
Yeah, I mean, listen, I love what you just said because I think, right, things happen for a reason. If you would have gotten 250 replies, then you would have had to figure out, what am I doing with these 250 replies? Or, you know what? You reach out to 250 people, not every one of them is going to be a great opportunity. It seems like it when you reach out, because any opportunity is a good one, theoretically. But then you start to deal with people and you might go like, well, why did I get caught up with this person? They don't really fit what I want to do. Right. So that's a really great way to look at the world, is like, hey, I'm just going to do what I need to do and keep going. Don't worry about what's coming back because I can't do anything about it. And I think, listen, I think at the end of the day, for me, keeping busy is important, right? I don't love the idea of staying busy for the sake of being busy. But I think for me, staying busy helps me to not think about that. I'm not getting the results right, like, just staying engaged and doing things just to keep moving forward, even if it's not going to turn into anything. And it sounds like that's what you're doing.
Speaker 2 27:48
And I think what I'm learning, too, is a really huge word that I'm really buying into lately is being intentional. I think in the beginning you want to reach out to all these people because I wanted people to see that I was going to all these schools and I wanted them to see, well, why did I want them to see? I wanted them to see because I wanted them to look at Ange and say, oh, she left her job and now she's really successful. That's what I wanted. I don't want that anymore. I want to be intentional, just like you said. I want to have the right schools, want me to come in there, and I want to work with the right people because that's what's really going to make the difference. Because you don't need a lot. You just need to make the difference. And what I found is that I don't just do things to do it to check it off. If I have a purpose of why I'm doing it, it comes right back to me. It's wild. It's like, I'm going to do these ten things today and I'm going to follow up with those ten things. And it's so much more powerful than just saying, oh, I had this big to do list, I did it all and nothing happened. Well, no, it's okay that it didn't happen, being intentional. I think teaching even these athletes to be intentional. Why are you working so hard? Are you working so hard? Are you just saying that you are? Because if you don't have the right mindset while you're working hard, then you're wasting your time. You truly are. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 29:14
Well, I think that's a great point and a great lesson because I do think it comes up in my work as well, because I think a lot of times young people particularly just do what they're supposed to do, what someone tells them to do, right. But they don't really reflect on it and go like, is this working or is this truly valuable? Am I better served to take a day of rest than actually just going, doing something to say I did it?
Speaker 2 29:39
Yes.
Speaker 1 29:39
Right. Why am I doing it? What's the purpose? Is it working? I just had this conversation last night with a young softball player, and we were talking about sort of like her workout, and she's telling me about her workout and she was saying, I do 15 pitches here and 15 pitches here and 15 pitches here and go through the motions. And I have 45 minutes. And I'm like, do you ever journal on it? And she's like, what do you mean? She's like, I'm not really good with journaling. And so I wanted to explain to her, yeah, but you can learn from the workout, not, like, about your feelings. Like, how did I feel when I started the workout? How do I feel when I ended it? What worked well? What didn't work well? What would I do differently next time? Writing it down so that you have evidence of it. You have a frame of reference so you don't forget, and you're starting to build a database about how you spend your time. And she's like, no, I never thought about it that way. And it's like, it's so true. Right? What you described in the beginning was you were doing it for one reason. Once you figured out why you were doing it, you realize that's not the right way to think about it. My ego is saying, I want people to notice me, but I want to be intentional about, I want to work with these people. Right? I want to have a partnership with the people who see and are aligned in my values. That's really important, but that takes time to learn. A lot of people don't know that right off the bat. You figure it out by doing. It's part of the journey.
Speaker 2 31:03
It is. And you have to go through it. I had to go through my ego to get to where I am here. I had to experience those things, I think. And one of the other things is your standard over your feelings. Like you said, some days is really hard, so there's no room to feel sorry for yourself. If you have a standard of what you want to put into the world, then you focus on that standard. And once you start and take a couple of steps towards that standard on a daily basis, your feelings change. Like, my feelings will change. Like, some days I wake up, like you said, and you're like, okay, I'm back in battle here. Let's go. And I'm like, I don't know if I could do it today. And then I'm like, what's my standard? Who's relying on me? What do I need to do for the business? And then as soon as I get started, it's a game changer. My whole mood changes everything. Does my mindset, my mood, everything. And I just focus on that a lot more. I never was good at that. I was a coach. That was. My kids would call me bipolar. I was always based on my feelings. But you can control them with the right mindset, and you have to learn to be able to. I'm learning it now. And that's another driving force behind why I want to work with athletes is teaching them on how to control it or to actually feel a little bit. Right. So you have this softball player who goes out and does this workout. Is she loving what she does? Because if she's loving it, she's going to go back for more, but if she's not, then she's entering that space of like, I'm just doing it to do it. And then burnout happens.
Speaker 1 32:37
Yes. And I think certainly that's something that I would be looking at with her to say. And she was coming back to me saying like, oh, I really like that idea. I'm going to try it. Which tells me she really loves what she's doing, right? Versus like, oh, you're giving me something else to do. Going to add another thing to the pile. One of the things we talked about before is the idea that it's like with mental, mental performance, like the coaching side of it goes to the wayside when there's other stuff, right? Strength training, a practice, a game, family vacation, you name it. Everything else comes first. The athletes who come to it are really the ones that are genuinely, in my view, interested in getting better, because now they see this resource that's there for them that they've never had before, and they're going like, oh, I want more of it. Give me more. Because I want to understand how to manage my thoughts and emotions. Because one of the things I talk to athletes about all the time is in sports psychology, we talk about just like you said, thoughts become our feelings, our feelings become our behaviors. Right. Being able to control our thoughts is going to be able to help us manage our feelings. If we know we're feeling a certain way and we don't like it, we either can change the way we think or we can actually act our way out of it. Right? I know I'm feeling like crap. Why don't I go do something positive, even if it's hard, if I do that, it's going to change the way I feel about myself, which is kind of what you were describing, right. I'm just going to go do something that I know is meaningful. And, yeah, I'm not feeling great about it right now, but once I do it, now I'm feeling better. I'm like, I acted my way out of the feeling, right. But to me, it all comes back to the awareness of it. Right. So I guess I want to talk about your work with athletes specifically. I've seen some of the stuff that you're doing on social media, and you're meeting with teams, you're working with groups. What are those workshops, for lack of a better word, look like?
Speaker 2 34:32
So I'm still in the process of really honing in on exactly what that looks like. A lot of times the coach will say what they want out of it. And I think for me, going in on the way that I function is just being authentic on what we were talking about and having these kids see me for who I am, I want them to know that I sat where they're sitting. I want them to know that I know that it's hard being an athlete in this day and age, but that that's not an excuse for coaches to have parents to have and the world to have to say, oh, it's just so hard. These kids are just not the way we were. I want to change that for these kids. And when I go in, it's really like stripping them and being vulnerable with them so that they can be vulnerable with me, because it's like, who is this human coming in here, this five foot one tyrant that wants to talk about what I'm going through, right? And so I think my gift is the empathy, is the, hey, are you all in? What is your connection, like with your teammates? And what does it look like with your coaches? And really asking the coach, do you know when their birthdays are? Do you know how many siblings they have? I think that stuff is very important, and that's my angle. To sit down and do goal setting, I don't think is a strength of mine because I don't do goal setting like that. I would say that my strength is to definitely go in and normalize the conversation one on one relationships, peel back a layer to have fun again and be like, hey, this is awesome. And I love this because of this, and then be able to put it where it's supposed to be. Like you're an athlete for four years of high school, four years of college, but then you're going to go out into the real world, and so how is athletics going to help you do that? And so, talking about grit, resilience, conflict resolution. Right. Having a clear, open plan, how to deal with a teammate, that's not being very nice. I think those are the things that we want the nonprofit to do, to be able to provide the resources to go into teams and say, here's workbooks, here's conflict resolution. We're going to coach the coaches and then have this culture to be better for the kids to be like, okay, this is what it's like this day and age. If we're not giving it to them, they're getting it from social media. They're getting it from a TikTok video.
Speaker 1 37:09
Yeah.
Speaker 2 37:09
So let's give it to them this way, for sure. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 37:12
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 37:13
Do I think that's really honing in on the marketing side of it, and what that will really look like is where I'm at right now in the beginning process. But when I was flying by the seat of my pants and going in there and talking about all in it was about that. And getting in there is hard to the teams.
Speaker 1 37:32
Okay, so a few more questions. And that's where I was going next. Right.
Speaker 1 37:38
What is the general response? And this is. I know it's a wide open question, but from coaches. Right. Because I'll just preface it by saying my experience with coaches is some really value what you're doing, but a lot see it as, I don't need this or I've got this. I don't want somebody from the outside coming in or I know what I'm doing. So what is the responsiveness? Or where do you find the connection points where coaches come say, yes, I really want this. Is there a commonality in who's interested in what you're doing?
Speaker 2 38:10
So I think that the coaches that are already doing it really have no time for you.
Speaker 1 38:16
Okay.
Speaker 2 38:16
But what I'd like to see from those coaches is like, well, what are you doing? Why don't you share with me? Let's open this up, right? I'd like to see that the coaches that want to bring you in truly have the best relationships. It's like that whole thing when you had parent teacher conferences and the only parents that showed up were the good kids parents. It's the same theory. Like, I find that these coaches that want to bring me in are actually exceptional human beings that want more for their athletes than just wins and losses.
Speaker 1 38:46
Okay.
Speaker 2 38:46
So it's really cool because the kids hear it from the coaches, they're hearing it from me, and now we're all talking about it together. And so I think that's where the ultimate goal is, to have every program get there and then the coaches that really have no time for it, to be honest with you, I don't think know why they're coaching and they're burnt out. And I can understand that. And then I can understand from an athletic director's point of view that they can't even get coaches. So they're sticking people in there that don't really have it, but they don't want to take the time to do it because they don't want to feel. They don't want to talk about that kind of stuff. They don't feel comfortable.
Speaker 1 39:27
It makes them uncomfortable. Absolutely. 100%.
Speaker 2 39:30
And so how do we get those coaches to understand that even your beat, we can be there for you to help make this more comfortable for you across the board. But I truly think that until it becomes a standard set by higher education, the higher ups to the athletic directors not holding the coaches accountable because they don't have to hold coaches accountable. It's more a standard in your athletic programs to evaluate your coaches on the culture on. Is there any character development happening? I think the shift will happen when that happens more often than not, if it will. Right. So like you said, it's more reactive in this world. It's no offense to anybody, but it's just the world in general.
Speaker 1 40:19
I give you a lot of credit, right. Because
Speaker 1 40:25
I don't gravitate to trying to make that sort of macro level change in an organization because I know how hard and frustrating it can be. And I think that's a credit to you because I think you're right. Right. Until the culture is like, hey, we want to value these young people genuinely as people before athletes, then it's just going to be onesies, twosies. Right. You're going to have to find a needle in the haystack. The coach who really wants to do that, who values that most other coaches are burnt out. They don't make a lot of money. They're just there to win and lose. Right. They're coaching because they want to be competitive and they don't have it anymore in their life. All those different things. For you to go and fight that fight is all the credit to you. Which is why I usually gravitate to individual family level stuff because I know I can make a change at that micro level. Now, I'm not reaching as many people, but it's easier to connect, it's easier to make that connection. And people find you and say, like, hey, I want you to help my kid. They're motivated because it's my kid. Whereas as a school is going, we have limited resources, we have limited time, we have limited money. Why am I going to bring this person in when they're taking away from all this other stuff we're trying to do or we don't have the funds to do it. That's a credit to you because I think we need that change happening from the top down and the bottom up. Right. You need more people in it.
Speaker 2 41:43
Yeah. And that's why instead of making the business any kind of profit, all in athletes will be a nonprofit. We will come in and say, this is what we're going to do. And hopefully it catches like fire. Hopefully they see, the athletic directors see that, hey, I have less parent problems, I have coaches more motivated, and these kids are getting a different type of experience. And then using the platform of all in, we can spread that message and is it going to be perfect. And do I understand? I lived with a superintendent.
Speaker 1 42:18
I lived with him, right?
Speaker 2 42:19
So I know their struggles. My really good friends are athletic directors. I know their struggles. But if we all have that same attitude of mediocrity and if we all just want that, then there's going to be no true change. And the why burns inside of me. It's the resilience. It's like I'm going to just keep going. I love it. And you're going to say no 100 times over, but everybody's always said no to me.
Speaker 1 42:48
I love it.
Speaker 2 42:50
It's true.
Speaker 1 42:50
I love it because this conversation is genuinely helping me today. The idea that you have that attitude and that approach and that fire and that passion for what you're doing is, for me, it's huge, because some days you're in the vacuum, right? And you don't have that person saying those things that you hear. You go like, oh, now I remember why I've done all these things and not getting down on myself and realizing that there's a bigger purpose here about changing this culture within athletics, which is so important to us. Right. We were athletes. We love sport. We love what we're doing. We love kids. We want to help them. Right. That takes a lot of energy and a lot of time and a lot of money, and you just got to keep going and you got to be all in.
Speaker 2 43:38
Yeah.
Speaker 1 43:38
So as we wrap up, the last question I usually ask is, what's the one piece of advice you'd give to? So I'll let you pick what's the one piece of advice you'd give to an athlete or a coach or a parent? You could pick one. But what's the one thing? If you think it's absolutely the most important thing, what would you share?
Speaker 2 43:59
I would say the one piece of advice I'd give in the athletic space community of a coach, of an athlete, of a parent is peel back the layers and get to know each other is truly feel for each other and know what each person goes through. It's important to know why the parent is acting, why the parent is acting, why the coach is acting, the way the coach is acting and why the athlete is have the courage to have the tough conversations, to understand why it's all happening. And I feel the connectivity will make the change happen. I really believe that's the best piece of advice to understand all those.
Speaker 1 44:44
It is. I think it's a challenge, and I think we need more people like you to facilitate.
Speaker 2 44:47
Yeah.
Speaker 1 44:48
So.
Speaker 2 44:48
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 44:48
Angela, thank you. So much for joining me.
Speaker 2 44:50
Yeah, thanks.
Speaker 1 44:51
All right.